i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
