dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
