The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
