Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
