he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
