the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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