when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
