Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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