why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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