I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
