Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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