You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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