Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
