I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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