i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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