why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
