marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
