Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize