my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
