She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
