I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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