Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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