In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
That accounts for only three of the penises
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
