Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
