She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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