He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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