He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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