God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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