where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
