I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
dude i'm inner monologue high
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
