She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
