I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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