Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
