she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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