Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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