Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
