Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
