Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
