i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
BRING THE BAGELS
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
