she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
