All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize