Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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