please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize