someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Even my vagina gasped.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
