Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
