i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
