9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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