Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
