How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
