Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
