It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
