We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize