I'm eating all of the evidence.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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