After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
