we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
