You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
honey bunches of taint.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
