I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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