SEEEEXXX PLEASE
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
