I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
