the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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