I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
