My first STD was from a foam party
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
