i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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