I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
